One thing I can say with absolute certainty is that you and your ex can either make your divorce the worst thing to ever happen to your children or you can make it an experience the kids can accept and adjust to without permanent psychological injury. The question is whether both of you (and I do mean both) can genuinely place the best interests of the kids above your anger, vengefulness and fear. Everyone says they can…almost no one can. Everyone thinks the other person is the horrible parent and is using the kids…the reality is that you’re both probably using the kids and neither of you is as good a parent as you can be. We can help you through all of this.
If you want my firm to represent you then you must see a counselor. We can help you find one who won’t break the bank. You must understand that your head isn’t always thinking straight. If I represent you, I will tell you when you’re being petty. I will tell you when you aren’t putting your kids first. I will tell you when you have to fight…and I will tell you when you have to swallow your pride.
I have been right where you are. I bet I have more kids (5 of my own and 3 step kids) and more divorces than you (2). I made a ton of mistakes. I regret a thousand things as a spouse and a parent…but I always understood that my kids were more important to me than everything else. My kids grew up happy, healthy and successful. If you want your kids to grow up remembering the divorce as pure hell then that’s something you can make happen. But, if you want your kids to see that people can disagree and still be kind; that they can cooperate…that they can be respectful…then you can teach your kids that. Remember that the kids love you both (and don’t try to make them love you more!) Just love them enough to be the best version of you possible. Love them enough to control what you say and how you act during your divorce. If you don’t, then you have clearly placed anger and vengeance ahead of your kids’ best interests. Remember: how you behave regarding your children is something you can completely control…maybe the only thing.
The Law Office of Keith Short. Free initial consultation. 618-655-9499