I write this very aware that I will be judged by people who think Im trying to make people think well of me. I'm not. They should think the opposite of me. I'm a dick. An ugly word, but it fits. But, if they read this others might re-think who they really are. Here goes...This morning I got out of my beautiful Audi I walked into my law firm (and the beautiful building I own) where I am the absolute king of my little realm. And I saw where a homeless man had left all of his belongings on our front step. I was pissed. I didn't want it there and I didn't like the look of it. I went to tell the staff they should have moved him along. That was my absolute first thought. I don't deny it. I was a dick. Then I looked down at his little worn out pillow and I shivered a bit (I'm bald, it's cold). Truth is, its really effin' cold. And I thought about having to sleep out there...and I softened a bit. I had the staff get him some food and a hot drink. I took it to him and told him I wanted him to feel okay, but that he had to leave when anyone showed up. I was still being a dick (even if you might agree that he shouldn't be on a law firm's door step). I thought about my life and how I could never be in this situation because lots of someones love me and would find me. So, I told one of the staff to go buy the best, most insulated sleeping bag Target offered and give it to him. Still a dick. Relative to the world, I'm a pretty wealthy guy. So I told the staff to buy a half dozen sleeping bags and to find people like Toby (that's this man's name) and give them away and not to say where the bags came from. Then I went to my office and teared up a bit with guilt and a ton of sadness that this is our world and we let it be that way. We are not our brother's keeper as we should be. We are not the Christian society (or any other religion; they're all hypocritical dicks, like me...but they don't think so... "they think they're good and caring") we should be. Lots of us think we are, but we aren't. We give our few dollars here and there and we "pray" for the homeless and mentally ill. But we do about 1/10 of 1 percent of what we can. Me included.
So, If Toby gives his sleeping bag away tomorrow then that's his fault. But if Toby doesn't have a sleeping bag today, that's MY FAULT! This is one step in a marathon of improvement. But at least I see who I am. Do you?